Jake and I make excellent car partners. Rides with us are full of fun and excitement- especially if you like to hear off tune singing and 90's music. However, before accepting a ride from us it would be wise on your part to know a thing or two about our car.
*The defroster must be run at all times. On high. And yes the AC will be on full blast. If it is 40 degrees outside, it will probably be colder in our car. Dress accordingly.
*If you sit in the front seat, you may be asked to squeegee the windshield while we drive. The squeegee and a towel are by your feet. And no, this task does not replace offering to give us gas money.
*Speaking of sitting in the front seat, it would be beneficial for you to wear waterproof shoes. It may be true that whenever Jake turns left, water gushes out of somewhere and gets the passenger's feet wet. Jake will not be happy if you scream every time this happens. In fact, he will get very, very annoyed at you.
*At some point during the drive you will probably be asked to roll your window down. We value your safety, so please do as you're told.
*Did I mention the temperature dial will not stay on heat? Try as you might it will wind right back to the frigid cold temperature.
*If you sit in the backseat, pay no attention to the rips on the ceiling. It is the direct result of Jill having too much time in the backseat with an axe. Yes you read that correctly. If both Jill and an axe are in the car, you might want to consider driving with someone else.
*If you happen to see any sort of dark substance, do not panic. The axe was never used on anyone and what you are seeing is not blood. Nope, it's just some syrup that was spilled and never thought of again. Sheesh who spills syrup in someone's car and never cleans it up! How rude. It is sticky, so watch out.
*And lastly and probably most importantly, the tape player does not work. As much as it saddens us to say, your Amy Grant tape cassette will be unable to play in our car. A real deal breaker.
So...anyone want to roadtrip with us?