Jake=Sinus Infection, Jill=Tone Deaf

Blogger wouldn't let us upload our Christmas video, so you'll have to go to the link below. You might want to turn the volume down on your computer...

We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Sorry, but you'll have to copy and paste the website into your browser. We know you're lazy, but how often do you get to hear our amazing musical talent?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APwWyO4fXIM

Excess Seratonin at the Happy Terrace

Hello!

We officially have some travel stories, now that my wife has collected "OUR" first paycheck. I had to work quite hard for that money over the last month and a half, often taking strenuous "city walks" for hours upon end, waiting for her to bring home the next children's virus for us to share. In fact, I made a fake "announcement" at a dinner with some of our ex-Nova friends. I said, "Jill and I have finally gotten a paycheck after three and half months." Dave, our Australian friend, said, "Thanks, I'm still waiting for a paycheck." Bankruptcy tension at a meal table can be the best kind. Luckily, I think he was joking; who knows with his British Empire humor.

Anyway, Jill and I shelled out 115 American dollars to secure what's called a "Seshun 18 Pass." Essentially, we get unlimited travel for five non-consecutive days during the Holiday season. However, I forgot the name of the ticket when we approached the travel agent, so I said, "eighteen kippu, eighteen kippu, eighteen kippu, eighteen kippu." That means 18 ticket, and luckily, after four bombardments, he figured out my horrifyingly inane Japlish (Japanese English). To bring an analogy to the table, if I were Mexican and living in America, it would be like me saying, "las potatoes fritas, las potatoes fritas, las potatoes fritas," until the worker figured out I wanted French Fries with that.

We chose to travel to Kyoto, the many storied-land of ancient rebuilt and fee-driven temples. Everyone says, that if you can only go to two places in Japan, you must go to Kyoto and Tokyo. To be honest, we were quite disappointed through 3/5 of the day. We'd gone to two temples, the first of which had a once-monthly street fair. However, anyone who knows a good Japanese crowd knows that thirty million people come crawling out of cracks in the ground when there's junk being sold at booths. Jill and I were simply trying to view the temple, but instead we found ourselves pelvis to face (see photo) with millions of Japanese people. I don't kid when I say that it was like rush hour on the 105 in Los Angeles. Babies crawl faster etc, etc.

Finally, however, we hopped a train out to a fabulous temple at the base of a mountain. This particular temples' main attraction is a walk through bamboo forest, ponds, and a garden. Even though it was winter, and much of the garden was in recession, it was very much worth the effort. We were surrounded on all sides by buildings of ancient architecture, and it wasn't hard to picture myself in ancient Japan. It was peaceful, and a delicious ending to our Kyoto trip.

Here Comes Santa Claus

Sorry, we've been really bad about posting lately. Jake and I have both been sick with every cold virus imaginable.

A lot of people have been asking about my new job. To put it simply, I love it. I'm teaching a class of 1-3 year olds all of whom keep me very busy all day. Most of my kids are incredible, but I do have one child who makes me question if I'll ever want a child of my own. He's the one hopping around in the viedo. For the past week or two, we have been practicing for our Christmas performance. We're singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and I think it's about the cutest thing I've ever seen. The video is of 6 of my kids (4 were absent) singing their hearts out. Our real performance will be complete with Santa hats and belts. Enjoy!

Memoirs of a House Husband

Some observations from the last few weeks:

1. During the daylight hours, I stand out worse than Hillary Clinton at a small-town Bible study in central Missouri. The only people out during the daytime are pairs of bent-back, retired Japanese elders, and hordes of housemothers toting small offspring. If I do see a man in the 20-30 age demographic, he's talking on a cell phone, wearing a Versace suit. I need to start wearing my tie everyday, pretend talking on the cell phone and yelling, "Sell, sell...the market's gonna drop!'

2. Japanese ambulance drivers must be on downers all the time. The ambulances are driven more like Hearsts bearing a coffin to the graveyard. I realize that some of the injuries suffered may be unrecoverable, but at least give the person a chance to live, for God's sake. The drivers even use an external PA, like they're in a freaking parade. I half expect to have jolly ranchers and Asahi mints thrown at me when the ambulances crawl through intersections.

3. All Japanese gas trucks have looped tapes of children's music and high-pitched children's choirs singing odes to Shell and Exxon. I'm sorry, but it's not like there's ice cream in the freakin truck. Who the Hell hears that song coming up the street and runs outside to get a tasty refined oil treat in their face? Not unless you're a Toyota, and you're on empty, and you have the capacity to think somehow.

4. Being retired at 24 is not the idyllic scenario everyone thinks it is. You can be one of two options as a retired 24 year old. Bored with money and no sense of purpose, or bored without money and no sense of purpose. Common-Sense advice for the day, "always take illusion over despair." (The Simpsons)

We love you, Dan Patla

Here are a few pictures from Dan's visit to Nagoya. We loved having a good friend from home here, and Jake was more than happy to have someone to play with while I was at work chasing small children.

In other news...

We enjoyed Thanksgiving Tacos on Thursday. Yes, that's right, while all of you were feasting on turkey and all that makes Thanksgiving so enjoyable we were eating a lesser known traditonal Thanksgiving meal. Regardless, we enjoyed our evening with friends while watching 7 episodes of Family Guy. Makes one wonder how we might spend Christmas...

We have finally figured out how to heat our apartment. It took two long weeks of suffering in the cold, but we finally have heat! Congrats to Jake who finally looked up the Kanji for heat in our trusty Japanese to English dictionary.

Only 22 more days until we receive our very first paycheck!!!

Room Sweet Room

Here are a few pictures of our new home- Room 201 at the American Resort! Jake can lay on his back and touch one of the walls with his feet and the other wall with his hands. It is definitely on the small side, but we are thankful to have a roof over our heads...even if it doesn't come with heat. :)

Hello from Nagoya

Hello all,

We've arrived in Nagoya, and are quickly adjusting to the two million person population density change.

Miraculously, we have free wifi internet courtesy of someone in this place. I'll snap some pictures of our new, luxurious living space in a short while (it's about the size of a smaller motel room).

I'm flowing with University of Oregon pride right now; ESPN is now absolutely in love with the football program, and now that they've actually visited Oregon, maybe they won't be so East coast stingy in their columns. Here's an excerpt from Pat Forde's column:

"Point After
The Dash spent quality time in Oregon for the first time last weekend and came away quite impressed. Pretty cool when you see people walking off the light rail system in downtown Portland with their skis on their shoulders. But on to the pertinent stuff:
When thirsty in Portland, The Dash recommends sucking up a few in-house microbrews at McMenamin's (39). The Hopicidal IPA was especially righteous.

And when thirsty in Eugene, The Dash recommends a pint of local microbrew Mirror Pond Pale Ale at Rennie's (40), a classic college joint near campus. The Rennie's Lemonade came highly recommended and wasn't bad -- but this is a beer-centric column. Get your fruity drinks -- even ones with about four types of alcohol mixed in -- elsewhere.

(The Dash thanks the eager and hospitable Ducks fans who showed off their town to a first-time visitor. Good show, guys.)"

I guess we're on the map now. McMenamins and Rennie's I'm sure are going to benefit from the free advertising space.

On to better things: Jill's been working for a few days now; I'll write a separate blog post detailing my interview experience when the equivalent of the Great Depression of Language Schools has hit Japan.

Take care, everybody. Sorry it's been so long!

Jake

Flab Buster Japan Style

There's really no need to exercise when one can use a vibrating belt to achieve the coveted flat stomach. Not a fan of vibration? Still no need to exercise, try an electronic saddle. With the help of an instructional video , you too can work your way towards a 6 pack without breaking a sweat.

Hey, everyone.

Well, it's official; Nova claimed bankruptcy today leaving 6,000 employees stranded without pay for the last two months. I've placed a picture of some pigeons fighting over small bread crumbs to illustrate this point. Gotta love the recession job market!

Anyway, on to lighter business. We visited Osaka last weekend for a job interview. We took the opportunity to travel around the city. We've included pictures of Osaka-Jo castle. If you look closely, you'll see Jill standing at the base to give a perspective. It's quite a large edifice. I was quite smitten with the castle. I had an insatiable edifice complex.

We moved on to the port district in which we rode the "tallest ferris wheel in the world." (according to those proud about it). The ride took 15 minutes and lifted us over 300 feet in the air. After that, I neglected Jill as I tried to snap the perfect "fisherman on the wharf" sunset picture. Who knows, maybe I'll win a blue ribbon at the fair so I can brag about my amateur status to people at cocktail parties.

Alright. Take care everybody, next time we post, we'll be in Nagoya.

Jake and Jill

ITunes Playlist for Jake and Jill

Here's the playlist which fits our crisis best:

Into the Ocean, Blue October
Sugar, We're Going Down Swinging, Fall Out Boy
Long December, Counting Crows
Under My Umbrella, Rihanna
Sayonara, Mr. Roboto, Some 80s Band
Sinkin' Soon, Norah Jones

Alright, everyone. This blogpost will have limited references to bankruptcy. However, I do have one Nova joke:

The Nova President's name, in English, means "Monkey Bridge." A monkey bridge is a structure in a zoo in which monkeys wander above the public and crap on them. If that's not an appropriate metaphor, I'm not sure what is...

Anyway, we recently went to the Ise Grand Shrine, during which we observed a traditional Shinto worship session. It seemed strange to my closed-minded Western ideals, but the shrine was quite immaculately landscaped, and designed. It's basically a large park with traditional Japanese structures (and too many tourists to count). Of course, no one but the Imperial family gets to go into the INNER shrine.

We also ate Udon, which is a worm-like noodle dish bathed in soy sacue, vinegar, and chives. It was delicious.

Alright, that's all for now. We'll keep you updated on the "situation," and how many guns we've sold in Japan.

Beer Of All Sizes

The beer in Japan continues to amaze us. Beer vending machines, beer made from potatoes, and now our newest discovery...mega-sized beer and teeny-tiny beer.

Jake's beer: 135 ml
Jill's beer: 1,000 ml

Moving Electric Red Hot Experimental Nuggets (or the print on Jill's 300 yen Japanese tee shirt)

Mt Gozai-sho, and Vending Machine Beer

Hello everyone,

It's been awhile since we've posted words, but then again, we've been quite busy earning our late paychecks. For those who don't know what's going on, there are Nova employees still waiting for their August paychecks. For now, Jill and I are living on ramen noodles and gravy packets. As the Simpson's say, we have enough MSG in us to protect us from a nuclear bomb.

Today, we ventured out to Mt. Gozai-sho, home to a gondola which rises 1500 meters. For those on the standard system, that's "like a mile or something."

This was our first official trip that didn't involve a shopping mall, super-market, or Nova office, so we were suitably excited. We even were struck with luck. As we waited for our bus to arrive, a Japanese man shuffled over (they don't walk, they shuffle) and said, "you get in taxi with me. I buy." So, we "got in taxi" with him, and "he buy" our ride. No particular reason, just a kind man. We thanked him in Japanese, so as not to seem ethnocentrically rude.

And now, Jill will write the rest of the story.

While we may have been helped by a kind Japanese man at the beginning of our trip, it was not long before stares and open mouths soon followed our every move. I guess we can't blame anyone for staring, we ourselves have begun to stare at other white people- we are so rare over here! However, we do not go as far as to shout out "Guy-gin" (Jake's spelling, not mine) as one child proclaimed at the first glimpse of the two of us. Guy-Jin is Japanese for foreigner, and is mostly used in a deragatory way. We gave the kid the benefit of the doubt, and did not punch him, but smiled sweetly instead.

The highlight of our trip...gondola rides, beautiful views, exploring new territory, a dose of fresh air? Of course not. All are trivial when compared to the first sighting, and use of, a beer vending machine. Who can resists a cold Asahi Super Dry Beer right from a machine? Certainly not Jake or myself. Sipping on a refreshing beer really is the only way to go down a mountain in a gondola. I can't imagine it any other way.

Pictures are forthcoming. The Internet cannot handle them at this point...

Life In A Small World

Typhoon Style

Here's what we look like after walking home during typhoon season.

Work, Work, Work

Hey, Hey!

Jake and I have completed our second week of work and thought it might be time to clue many of your in on what exactly we are doing over here in Japan.

We are working for a company called NOVA, which has been nicknamed by many employees as NOVAction. Seeing as how this is the first job that Jake and I have had that gives you paid vacation time, we can’t really join in on that particular complaint. I doubt that any of the recent NOVA news has made it to the US, but our company has been under the spotlight over here for quite sometime. They apparently have had a few too many problems with ripping off their students and have expanded so quickly that money is now very tight. Rumors are flying around like crazy insinuating we will never see our October paychecks and will be out of a job in a few weeks. We surely hope that is not the case!

On the brighter side, we love our jobs. We teach a variety of students from very, very beginning English speakers to students who can carry on English conversations with only minor errors. Each lesson lasts 40 minutes and has no more than 4 students. In one lesson we might be teaching how to politely criticize, and in our next lesson we might be teaching something as basic as naming foods (“It’s a hamburger”). We also teach Voice Lessons where students come just to practice their English skills. Any skill level can come and as many students that fit into the room are welcome. It’s our job to come up with up a topic for them to discuss for 40 minutes. Voice lessons are nice break from our normal lessons as we can essentially BS with the students for the entire lesson- a skill Jake and I both share.

The craziest part of our job is definitely our Kids’ Classes. There are four levels classes- Chibiko (2-3 years), Kinders (4-6 years), Juniors (6-9 years) and Seniors (9-12 years). We essentially fend for ourselves for 40 minutes while up to eight Japanese children hurl themselves off furniture and run circles around us. Apparently while they do this we are suppose to be teaching them English, but that hasn’t quite happened yet. Contrary to what many people told us before we arrived in Japan, Japanese children do not respect their teachers more than American children. Schooling does not become serious for them until they are 12 years old so before that age, they are evidently free to cause ruckus. Wahoo, lucky us. J

I hope that answers some of your questions about what we do all day. This is definitely going to be quite the experience for us both.

Love ya guys!

UO Arrogance and Stupid MPAA

Oregon beat Michigan 39-7, a win that only slightly makes me want to cry; Oregon will not get the BCS quality win it would have if Michigan wouldn't have tumbled from the rankings last Saturday.

Here's my analogy: Oregon is like the guy who kicks a recently bloodied bully while he lays on the ground in a pool of his own fluids after being beaten by the engineer geek.

and Stupid MPAA: If the MPAA hasn't been obtuse enough with its ratings explanations, a movie was recently rated PG for "incidental smoking." What, is a parent going to think, "Okay, I'll let my kid see the movie only if there's second-hand smoke inhalation, not if there's a real drag from a butt."

Starbucks and Cheesy-butter Rolls

Hello, everyone.

Here are a couple captions for the pictures above. I'll let you match the caption with the picture:

Caption: Jill sits next to our as yet unplugged TV in our living room (which is actually our bedroom).
Caption: Jake demonstrates that his height is actually three inches taller than most Japanese doorways.
Caption: America exerts its global influence by implementing Starbucks. Corporate goal? Get those stolid Japanese folk drunk on stimulants and addicted to liquid personality.
Caption: Jake demonstrates a dinner roll infused with cheesy-butter, a product similar to an Oscar Meier cheesedog. However, the processed chesse tastes more like lard and powdered cheese mixed imperfectly by indifferent hands.
Caption: Jill demonstrates the "floor futon" style of Japanese mattress. Anyone visiting us must ensure that they bring their own inflatable mattress, which actually will instill a bit of jealousy in us.

Arrival

Hello, everyone.

We arrived safely in Japan yesterday, Wednesday the 29th. The flight was stellar, including screaming Japanese children (which actually scream the same as American babies; no language barrier there). Just a side note; the person in front of Jill felt inclined to recline all the way back forcing her video interface into her face.

We spent the first night in our "Couple's Apartment" which included His and Her pink and blue futons. For dinner we had a piece of sugar-infused white bread with butter not completely melted on it. The main course was a Cup-o-noodles which featured delightful freeze-dried shrimp which may or may not have been caught in the new millennium.

Nova took good care of us, having a rep meet us at the airport who gave us a fairly inclusive orientation. The humidity here is between 80 and 1,000 percent, but we were too tired to take showers last night. We do have air conditioning, but it basically only cools one room effectively. Hence, we will be sleeping in the living room most of the time.

We have the next three or four days to acculturate ourselves before going to work on Monday. Jill's and my commute are both about about an hour including walking time to the train station. We will make sure to post pictures of us riding grandma bikes when we get them.

Alright, take care everyone, and we'll keep in touch.

Jake and Jill